Communicate with POWER – Understand
Most of us communicate to let others know what WE THINK… or … how WE FEEL.
Similarly… they too speak to us, to let us know how THEY feel… or what they believe.
In the process of impressing others about who WE are, we fail to understand them and so we end up with misunderstandings. But that is only a very small part of communicating…. the main part is to be able to relate to each other – in a way that is mutually beneficial.
Successful communicators, know, that communication is powerful when it gets the desired results. Results are achieved when:
We know who we are dealing with, and
We know what THEY WANT.
Since each of us is different, one size does not fit all.
How do we know more about the OTHER?
Listen – to understand. Ask questions, when in doubt… and clarify what You ‘know’. Here are the main things we need to find out about the other…
- What type of person is he/she?
Motivated/Depressed, Helpful/Selfish, Articulate/ non-commun icative, Confident/shy…
kind/rude… hardworking/lazy… etc.
- What MOTIVATES them?
Money, power, position, rewards… etc.
- What do they NEED?
Love, Understanding, Options, Kindness, Respect, Trust, Money, Help… etc.
- What could YOU GIVE them, that they would appreciate?
(Charity begins at home… we cannot give what we do not have. So first, look after yourself…
only then can you afford to spare something for others).
- What is the best way to LIFT THEM up?
Can you encourage, enable, enhance or empower them?
Spend time to understanding who you are dealing with. Remember, everyone is NOT like us. We bracket people on the basis of who we are. So, giving them what WE think that THEY need, may not really be giving them what they need. This will only work, if the other person is LIKE US. Unfortunately, a cat likes fish; a dog likes meat/bones; a rabbit will go for carrots. Each of us is a certain type of ‘animal’ with a certain type of mindset. So my needs, may not be your needs.
Through the questions above, we learn what motivates others, and we know what they need.
The best way to get agreement, is to discuss and decide only what you think they will agree to. (Do NOT try to convince, confuse or con them) In this way we …
- Get agreement from them only based on what they are willing to do.. say… or agree to.
- Save time trying to bring others to our line of thinking.
- Build better bonds… each of us would emerge out of every interaction as a winner.
- Live happy… because there is rapport and mutual trust…. and most of all,
- There is UNDERSTANDING (that came from listening).
Since this is a reciprocal universe, when we give something … we also get something. Why wait for the returns to come to you. It will… when it has to … from whichever source it is meant to come to you.
Life is great. Enjoy it.